The world is a better place without me
by thothlover
Summary: Summary inside. Rated M for language, you read at your own risk. Edit: Prussia added to the character list, no yaoi in this story. Just a lot of sadness and brotherly love.
1. Chapter 1

**The world is a better place without me.**

Summary: Ludwig is depressed after coming home from a meeting. Will he act on his thoughts or just go along like he always has?

A/N: Character bashing. I don't like Italy (that much) and neither does Ludwig (at all) in this story. This is **NOT** a GerIta story, if you like/love Italy. **DON'T** read this story!

Note: Possible character death.

Ludwig was about ready to give up. His brother was driving him nuts at home, his so called 'friends' made jokes about him and nothing he did seemed to be good enough. Also, a certain war was always brought up; he just wanted to forget it and move on, but when he said so he was called a heartless bastard, just because he wanted to forget the most embarrassing and humiliating biggest mistake of his life. The blond knew he was still being called a Nazi behind his back.

There was a reason why he was trying really hard to fit in, but nothing was working. Germany sat in his car, in front of his home, watching the light in the living room window. It had started raining an hour ago and he had been sitting there, in his car for three hours or so. He blinked and frowned. He hated this, he really did.

"Maybe the world would be a better place if I just disappeared. Bruder could have the country and do whatever he wanted. No one would miss me. I'm a stain on the world anyway."

He whispered to himself and looked down at the steering wheel. Ludwig sighed again and rubbed his face, finally getting out of the car as slowly as he could and walking even slower to the door of his home. As he raised the hand with the key in it the door suddenly swung open.

"I was wondering when you were coming inside!"

Gilbert said with a smile on his face but it faded when he saw the look on his little brother who looked just about ready to break down and cry.

"West, what is it?"

The former Kingdom of Prussia asked. But got no response as his little brother walked inside, already drenched by the rain.

"West?"

The albino tried again, but still got no response. The older but shorter man placed a hand on the others shoulder. Ludwig didn't dare look at his brother; he just toed off his shoes and dropped his suitcase carelessly on the floor and slipped his soaked jacket off and let it be on the floor as he walked straight to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and starting the shower. Gilbert frowned, wondering what it could be that was bothering his little awesome brother. The older man shrugged and picked the jacket up, emptied the pockets and placed the soaked jacket over a heater.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Ludwig was sitting in the tub with his clothes on, his phone on the countertop by the sink. His tears strolled down his cheeks as he cried silently. He hated this. He wished he had dissolved instead of his brother. How was he going to change it? England wasn't going to help him with that. Ludwig growled as his phone started ringing and covered his ears, it was Italy that was calling; he hated him. He really **hated** that happy-go-lucky bastard! Truth be told, Ludwig never forgave Italy for going to the allies. The blond also hated himself for getting the dumbasses actions mixed with his feelings and actually _proposing_ to the fucker! Ludwig wanted to punch Feliciano in the face and tell him, no, shout at him to man up and defend himself! He couldn't look at red roses the same; as a matter of fact he hated them and he didn't care for them when France brought some over. Sure he put them in water when the other was over, but he let them die, he really didn't care for them. When he thought his phone had stopped it only began again. He growled louder and stood up and grabbed his phone and hung up and shut it off. Then he broke it in two and placed it on the counter again.

Ludwig took his wet clothes off and just tossed them in the laundry bin and thought he was going to get some time to relax when the home phone began to ring. His eye twitched in annoyance and he shook his head. This was going to be a short shower like always.

"Beilschmidt residence, Gilbert speaking. Oh, hallo Italy~ West? He's taking a shower I wouldn't bother him. Why? I don't think he feels very good. Sure you can come over, I think that'd cheer him up, kesesesese. Cya later then. Tchüss!"

Gilbert hung up and walked upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Oi, West! Italy is coming over! Come on out and get dressed!"

Gilbert shouted and waited as he heard the shower turn off and watched as the door was opened, very slowly and all he saw his little brother's angry face.

"Why are you pouting? You like him don't you?"

That was it Gilbert just crossed the line.

"Like him? Like… him? I FUCKING HATE THAT CRYBABY! I DON'T WANT HIM AROUND ME! IT'S TERRIBLE ENOUGH THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SHITHEAD AT EVERY FUCKING MEETING! I DON'T WANT HIM IN MY FUCKING HOUSE!"

Ludwig shouted and shoved his brother aside and stomped off to his room, clinging to the towel around his waist and slammed his bedroom door shut and locked it. Gilbert stood there, blinking in surprise and turned his head to the stairs, as there was a knock on the door. He walked downstairs and opened the door.

"Feliciano? That was fast. Come in!"

Gilbert said with a smile, not taking his brother's words seriously.

"Ve~ Grazie Gilbert! How about I make Luddy some pasta? Do you think that would make him feel better?"

"Ja, I think so! He's being a little over dramatic right now. The pasta will do him some good."

Gilbert said and smiled at the brunette and walked with him into the kitchen to prepare the meal.

Ludwig angrily dried himself off and put on his pajamas. He wasn't getting dressed. He wasn't going to go out there. He didn't want Italy in his house. Why couldn't his brother understand it?

"The world _would_ be a better place if I weren't here. I don't care anymore, I can't take it anymore!"

The blond growled. He wanted to punch someone and see tears and blood. He knew very well who he wanted to punch, the annoying Italian in his kitchen. Ludwig could smell the pasta. He growled and ran both hands through his hair and pulled on it. He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, and he just wanted to yell! Germany blinked and dropped his hands and walked over to his desk and opened the top drawer and took out his .45 caliber gun, he took out all six bullets and put one in again.

How should he do this? Through the mouth or right in the temple? Or maybe, right between the eyes? Should he leave a note? No, no fucking note. Let it be a wonder why he did it. Ludwig narrowed his eyes and sat down at his desk. He had been forced to get a facebook by his brother, he deactivated it right away. He also deactivated his twitter account.

"There."

He muttered and took the gun again… then started to think, wouldn't that be too messy? Why was he caring about that? He wasn't the one that had to clean it up! He got up from his desk and sat on his bed, looking out the window, placing the gun by his temple. Ludwig took one last deep breath before pulling the trigger.

**BANG!**

Gilbert and Feliciano looked up at the same time but Gilbert was faster to react then Feliciano and bolted up the stairs and to his brother's room, kicking the door down and seeing his brother already starting to fade.

"WEST!"

-** 30 minutes later on the news around the world** -

"_-The country of Germany is dramatically falling apart, no one knows why or how as the people are fleeing to neighboring countries as massive earthquakes shake the country and threaten to destroy it-"_

- **1 hour later **-

"_- As you can see, as we fly over what once was Berlin, the city burns and houses collapse as the land collapses underneath. Massive rock- and mudslides have closed many roads and killed over 10,000 people. Scientists and Geologists have no clue what could be causing this tragedy-"_

- **In France** -

Gilbert knocked on his friends' door, the door opened after a while.

"Gilbert, I've been watching the news w-"

"West killed himself."

Gilbert chocked, his eyes watering and his tears ran down a stained path.

"Italy and I barely got out in time."

The albino added and looked over to the red sports car, to the crying Italian in the passenger seat.

"Mon dieu! That's…horrible…why?"

Francis asked, stepping out of his house and walking to the car, helping the Italian inside. Gilbert had walked inside, taking his shoes off and just flopping down on the couch and cried, hugging a pillow.

"I don't know!"

Gilbert cried as Francis came into the living room, steadying Feliciano.

- **1 month later in Paris** -

"So, it's settled then. Gilbert, you are hereby restated as a country. Choose your name."

England spoke and looked at the albino who stood in the middle of the room.

"Humph, why should I accept?"

Gilbert asked with a raspy voice.

"You… don't want to be a country again?"

Arthur replied and the room was silent for about 15 minutes.

"Not without West. He didn't leave anything behind. I don't know why he killed himself. But I can guess. I think it's time, I fade away too."

Gilbert said, not looking up to see the others faces.

"But, mon ami, what are we going to do with-"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! TAKE THE FUCKING LAND! FIGHT OVER IT! YOU BASTARDS COULDN'T LET HIM FORGET! WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HERE WITHOUT HIM? I ONLY STAYED FOR HIM!"

Gilbert shouted and finally looked at everyone and their shocked faces.

"You think I didn't know? Ludwig had had enough. And so have I. I'm not taking that land. You fuckers find something to do with it. Let Denmark expand himself, hell, why the fuck don't you all just expand yourselves? First come, first serve. Get a little colony of your own, who the hell cares?"

The former nation growled out and glared at the nations before him. If he wanted to fade away so much and just leave, why wasn't he? The room was quiet for over an hour when Gilbert decided to speak again.

"Fine, I'll take the land. It's mine anyway, I can't fade. I can't. New Prussia."

He said simply and the other nations nodded and spoke their words, putting New Prussia on the map.

"West… I will find you again. I will do a better job."

Gilbert whispered to himself as he left the parliament building, as a nation once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The first few months had been really hard on Gilbert. First it was the waking up early part, then the coming home to an empty house part. But what was still the hardest thing for him to do was going to meetings. The other nations seemed to have forgotten Ludwig, Germany. It saddened him because he remembered him, the smell of his brother and his cooking, his voice and his laughter (which few people got to hear). The albino sighed and put his hands over his face and sobbed, paperwork forgotten.

"Jesus Christ, West. You could have talked to me. You little shit. What the fuck made you think I wouldn't listen?"

Gilbert chocked out to the empty study, that he tried to keep in order but was failing, piles of papers were already building up in a few corners of the room. It didn't help that Christmas was coming soon and he had thought about what to give his brother, but he couldn't give it to him anymore. He jolted as the phone rang and he answered it.

"Hallo?"

"_Allo mon ami. How are you?"_

Gilbert smiled a little bit at the sound of his friend's voice.

"Not too good. I miss Ludwig."

There was some silence on the other end.

"_Come spend the Christmas with me. Matthew will be over and I'd hate to have you alone. I insist and I will not take 'no' for an answer."_

France said and the two spoke a little more for a while before Gilbert hung up to finish this damn paperwork. Now he understood why his brother had no time for 'fun' things. These papers were like homework but never ending.

**-Christmas, Paris -**

The albino had arrived a few days earlier; of course, he had brought presents one couldn't come empty handed. He had also brought his suitcase but his mood was everything but happy. Sure he smiled now and then but it was hard for him. Everything was hard for him. Why was it so hard for him? Oh, of course. There was a big piece missing in his life, a piece he had made to not be alone. He sighed and wiped away stray tears and grabbed his winter coat and was out the door.

Francis looked up as he heard the door close and ran over to it.

"Gilbert!"

The blonde Frenchman shouted after his friend.

"Gilbert!"

He called again.

"I want to be alone!"

Gilbert shouted back and disappeared around the corner. Francis sighed and shook his head, grabbing his keys, making sure everything was off and locked, grabbed his coat and followed after his friend. Catching up to him panting.

"I said I wanted to be alone."

Gilbert mumbled.

"Mon ami, I cannot let you do that. God only knows what you could do."

"I won't do anything stupid, _Francis_. For Gott's sake, just leave me alone. What if Matthew comes home to no one? Won't you feel guilty?"

Gilbert hissed. Francis stopped and watched his friend continue to walk.

"Don't come home too late. I don't want you to catch a cold."

Francis said and turned around and walked back home. Gilbert just mumbled to himself.

**- 3 hours later -**

The albino rang the doorbell to his friend's house and Francis greeted him with a cup of his finest hot chocolate with little marshmallows in it.

"You're late."

"I don't care."

An awkward silence fell between the two but Gilbert took the offered cup and sat as far away from Matthew and Francis as he could. He felt like the Grinch or Scrooge. He just wanted to be alone on Christmas, this Christmas at least. Maybe next year he could be alone.

**- New Years eve, Former Germany now New Prussia -**

The albino nation stood in front of his brother's grave talking about what he had done and that he had just gone home, not being able to take one more day in France.

"-And that's what I did."

Gilbert cleared his throat.

"West, you could have talked to me. God…I hate for not talking to me. How many times have I told you that you can _always_ talk to me! Jesus fucking Christ! I would have listened for fucks sake!"

He started to scold the tombstone. He sighed and laughed at himself.

"Come back to me, Ludwig. I'll be a better brother this time. I don't think I'll be going to as many wars as I did back then. Sure I'll be away but I'll be working. Bitte, come back to me kleiner bruder."

Gilbert begged and looked at his clock, it struck 12 o'clock midnight and fireworks went into the air.

"Happy New year little one."

He whispered to the tombstone and gave it a kiss before turning and leaving.

**- 4 months later -**

The albino was bored out of his mind. A meeting in Vienna, hah! And the host, Austria or Roderich, was late, as always. When the man finally arrived it took about another 15 minutes for the damned meeting to start and it ended an hour late, thanks to prissy pants being late. He was just glad he could go home. As he put the papers in his suitcase he could feel the brunette staring at him.

"What!?"

Gilbert barked and glared at Roderich.

"Would you like to come over for coffee?"

"Nein, I'd rather join Ludwig!"

Gilbert growled, not seeing the frown on Eliza's face as he stormed out.

**- 3 years later -**

Gilbert stacked away the papers neatly in a folder. Four years had now passed and things were getting a little easier for him. He was going out with Francis and Antonio again and Feliciano was coming over a lot more.

But, one night the world changed. It seemed Alfred and Ivan couldn't keep their hands off each other and started a third world war. The albino had angered both nations by declaring neutrality and sticking to it. The Soviet Union was reborn, Georgia had been eliminated and Russia claimed the soil once more.

The albino denied joining the allies, he was neutral and he left it at that.

Italy, Austria and Hungary were fighting with the allies; and apparently Japan was playing both sides again, so it seemed.

**- 10 years later -**

It had taken ten years for this war to finish. Russia lost in the end and was forced to break the Soviet Union once again. The man had a lot of money to pay, but it wasn't just him. China had been on his side; Japan had been on both sides and had to pay his fair share. There had been some accidental bombings due to miscalculations. Cities were being rebuilt and streets were being cleaned. Victors were being honored and praised as well as the war heroes were being welcomed home.

Gilbert turned off the T.V. He hadn't really used it except for the news. At least the war was over now. With a sigh, the albino got up and went outside, he had a house to fix up. It had gotten its fair share of damage over those 10 years and he wasn't moving from this house that he had built with his own two hands, long ago.


End file.
